March 15, 2026

I know they said to think about a phrase, and I can try, God, but I have a feeling my mind is going to keep running, but I can try.

You say you are our refuge—

I can picture that.

A house with a rocking chair and a big blanket, with books and board games and enough people to play them with me.

But that’s not life God, if you haven’t noticed.

There are storms of all sorts, all around

cities flood

forests burn,

countries shouting at one another not caring who kills who.

The oceans maybe taught the nations how to roar.

And in the midst of this You say, Do not fear - maybe that should be my phrase

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

The earth itself seems tired of holding us,

and my heart feels that heaviness.

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

Do not fear you are a refuge, my rocking chair with a blanket. But even that could mean that I am in fetal position of fear, even in that rocking chair of refuge.

You seem to be serious about the Do Not Fear thing

Even if mountains slide into the sea,

even if the foundations collapse—

do not fear, you kindly say.

Seriously, how can I not fear?

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

I want this to be true.

Because the truth is

there are mountains in my life already falling:

Life not looking how I want it too

bodies breaking,

people I love disappearing.

I don’t know if you know God, but these are all very fearful things!

Waters roar inside me too—

anxieties crash onto the beach of my brain with every news story and new personal crisis

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

Maybe you are a different kind of water. Maybe you are a babbling brook.

You are a river, providing steady life, steady beauty, steady nourishment. You are steady but not destructive.

Maybe you are Not loud or bold like the ocean,

But like a river constantly determined to break through to us.

You flow through the city you love,

You flow through your people…me

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

O River God, I want a fearless life.

And I know I can feel glimpses of it:

in mercy that arrive each morning.

in courage that appears unexpectedly,

in grace that keeps coming

even when everything else makes no sense.

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

But The nations rage.

The kingdoms totter.

Leaders promise safety they cannot deliver.

Weapons multiply faster than wisdom.

God, help me

Help me find your gentle stream to feel comforted and being able to say

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

Do not Fear can maybe even feel like a lullaby in this place. I maybe can get used to a sweet music, swaying myself to the music.

But then you ask more.

Be still.

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

Be still? Like freeze response? Any trauma informed provider will tell you that we need to move!

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

Sit. Breathe. Breathe again.

You say Be still

to the roaring sea,

to the warring nations,

to my racing mind.

I notice in the stillness…

I need to lesson my grip.

Let my clenched hands fall open.

I feel my body start swaying out of looseness not out of obligation.

Maybe I can enjoy this float down this river of yours?

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

Maybe I can see the importance of being still,

But now I need to trust that you are God?

not someday,

not when the world finally makes sense—

but now—

Trust that You are God?

That’s scary too.

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

You are above the earthquakes.

You are more powerful than the national declarations of war.

God you can

break the bow

and burn the chariots

and silence the war in this world and in my head

How can I be still and wait on You God?

How can I not fear?

That feels beyond my reach, I need to curl up in my rocking chair and my big blanket.

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

Fear still walks our streets

and storms of all kinds still shake the earth.

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.

in this unfinished world,

in this noisy place ,

in this heart that still longs—

God, help me not be scared.

Learning not to fear, help me jump into your purposeful path of giving water to the land.

Not escaping the reality, but breaking through it with nurture and compassion.

Do not fear. Do Not Fear. Do. Not. Fear.