Let All Who Are, Listen!

June 15, 2025 - Luke 10:38-42, Matthew 13:10-15

“That as we wake, we will listen.

As we rise, we will listen.

That before our first words of the day, we will listen.

That when we meet, we will listen.

That at noon time, we will listen.

At dusk, we will listen.

That at the gathering of night, we will listen.

The entering sleep, we will listen still.”

—Jan’s Richardson’s “Blessing to Open the Ear”

—--

I was thinking about this Mary and Martha story a lot this week.

Especially, on Tuesday, when I was doing some meal prepping, while listening to an audiobook, while parenting, while waiting for call, while trying to keep the dog happy, and when work thoughts would arise and I would try to think “that can wait until tomorrow.”

I might be Team Martha, just a little bit. I am guessing that many of us are Marthas - we simply don’t have time to be a Mary.

—--

I paired this frustrating story with another.

The Disciples asking Jesus about his teaching methods, and they are more confused than ever, its sounds like a compliment to the disciples but I am guessing they left with an answer that wasn’t the one they expected.

____

Today, the peaceful practice that I am highlighting is Listening. Jesus deals with listening more than the rest of the peaceful practices, which leads me to believe that it might be important. I don’t know about you, but often when I am in conflict - listening is not something I want to do, understanding is not something I want to do. Nope. I want to bulldoze the thoughts and feelings of others to get my way, to have them understand me!

But what if, the better way that Jesus mentions in the Mary and Martha story - that Mary is taking the better way - is about the time it takes to really listen.

In When “Spiritual but not religious” is not enough, Lillian Daniel talks about how Martha’s help the Marys happen. If Mei, wasn’t downstairs preparing snacks. If the ushers weren’t caring for all the details, you and I couldn’t be talking or listening. Rev. Daniel suggests that our busy-ness can, however, get in the way of taking the time to understand - which requires listening. We just can’t carry on in a way that lessens the likeyihood that we can grabble with what we have heard.

Yes, if you learn by moving it can help to have a task or two while you listen. I applaud folks that have found ways for them to listen, when being still is less than ideal for them. But, are you so busy, that you aren’t taking the time to listen to understand.

You heard that news headline, but didn’t take the time to stop and listen for the context or the ways to advocate for the marginalized persons mentioned.

You heard the request for the new thing, but didn’t take the time to understand why this was so important.

You were able to pull the information for the test, but have no idea why those themes are important to the larger subject.

Hearing is not the same as listening.

In the Matthew passage, Jesus goes a bit farther.

Its not just about hearing or listening, but figuring it out.

A parable needs to heard, listened to, asked questions about and then pondered.

Its when someone comes up to you ,begging for you to tell them what to do, and wisely you suggest that it is their decision to make not yours.

Its giving a child all the pieces to a puzzle or math problem, and watching them figure out how to put it together.

Its the fact that we have decided to follow a God that doesn’t assign a bill board to us for each step of our life, we need to figure it out.

We for sure can’t understand a conflict, if we don’t stop to listen.

Yes, you could be mad at something and start yelling to try to prove your point like i did last week with my family.

Yes, you can assume that the other person in a conflict has no knowledge of the implications.

Yes, you can try to achieve the winning trophy without playing fairly.

But, I think in both Matthew and Luke - the point is to take the time, to listen, to understand, to comprend, to work on figuring it out.

By quoting Isaiah Jesus implies that listening engages more than just our ears. Good listening requires us to use all of our bodies and demands full attention which Mary was giving in ways that other women of her day just weren’t able to.

This is called active listening. Active listening is focused, conscious listening that goes beyond hearing the words of another person. Its concentrating, comprehending the information and understanding the message as it was intended. It allows the listener to absorb and retain the full communication of another. It requires that we placed the highest value on the other person and their story rather than being understood ourselves.

That is hard in general, but especially when we are in conflict. Our ability to listen well drastically alters the path of a conflict, however. It is only with ample listening, that conflict can be constructive. We can take in and comprend the arguments be made, which is the whole point? Correct? Some of you may know the Tik Tok trend going around that shows a picture of a wholesome moment with the caption - I almost forgot that this is the whole point. That feels true about listening during conflict. If we want others to listen, we must also.

Active listening gets us much farther than arguing a point in a conflict. Active listening has consistently proven to be more effective and efficient than trying to persuade the other. It's a change agent because people who feel heard are less defensive and more open to considering new ideas.

Think about it! Is this your response when you have felt heard? I have been trying to think of a time that I continued fighting in a impersonal relationship after its clear that I feel heard - I can’t think of one time. In fights for justice, yes. However, I think once I feel like the other party had heard me - the fight becomes less of a fight and more of a dialogue about how to get to a place of justice.

That said, I don’t think we can fake our listening just to make our points to change someone’s mind. We need to take the time to actually want to understand. In the Matthew passage, Jesus tell the disciples to listen with their ears and understand with their heart. Listening should come from a place of genuine curiosity and care.

This can become especially complex when we believe that what we are hearing is harmful to someone. What does it mean to actively listen to someone who is being racist for example?

What is the line between listening to the other and stopping oppression?

It is important to recognize and remember that listening does not mean agreement. We can actively listen to someone and still respond with our own opinions, understanding and beliefs. Listening does not mean that we approve of or agree with what's being said. It does not inherently affirm the positions and opinions of others. The act of listening does however speak to our character.

When we are able to actively listen we are able to engage in what we heard in ways that might surprise those we are listening too. Stopping a hateful comment likely will mean more to the person if they already felt heard.

Jesus says that to those who have, more will be given and he says that while teaching the disciples about listening. So could we interpret his words in this context to mean we grow by listening because we understand more?

To those who have and offer the gift of active listening more will be given- more understanding more transformation more wisdom. Even if our opinions remain unchanged it is nuanced by what we hear and our understanding is amplified in listening and we gained something.

So, if you are interested in practicing, some active listening - it can be easier if you have some interesting questions to ask people.

I asked Dana one of my favorite ones on Monday at the food bank. When you aren’t at the food bank, do you have a typical Monday? You can insert whatever special event and whatever day you want there. The answers are always interesting and don’t make the person think that much.

What are you passionate about? (I asked this at many of the meet and greets) Its fun to listen to the answers.

Depending on the situation, I have asked about an embarrassing situation they have been in - after sharing my own.

We need to take time to listen to each other. Take time to sit and listen like Mary. We need to wrestle with the understanding of words and hearts remembering we are in this together.

That as we wake we will listen.

As we rise we will listen.

That before our first words of the day we will listen.

That when we meet we will listen.

That at noon time we will listen.

At dusk we will listen.

That at the gathering of night we will listen.

The entering sleep we will listen still.